#fridayflash: The Tear-Gatherer God

Lashwi-Thum-Oogo, God of Lamentations, Gatherer of Tears, slept untroubled for several hours. He had had an exhausting night and was in dire need of some sleep. As he drifted off into delirious slumber, he mused to himself what a tough night it had been and how, happily, there seemed to be increasingly more and more work these days.

Although he was a God by appointment, he was not the sort of one to sit back, snap his fingers and clean up everything in the way his boss would. No. He was a grafter and believed in doing his job manually and in person. It was bad enough that the mortals on the cruel world his boss had created had to cry at all, but to let the tears fall from their cheeks on to dirty, diseased ground was just a waste of their sadness. It broke his own heart to see the valuable beads dissolve into nothingness when he knew he could sell them for outrageously high prices on the black market.

Tears were a precious commodity in the heavens in which he dwelled. Gods didn't cry and there was nothing they could do about that, hence why tears were so sought after. Lashwi-Thum-Oogo was fortunate enough to be one of the few Gods whose job involved dealing with them and it was turning out be extremely lucrative. He was pleased that he had been offered this position when he had graduated and, since his appointment eighteen months ago, had surpassed all of his boss's expectations. He had even hit target for the last nine months which was completely unheard of in his department. His latest bonus had been a Goddess to marry, the like of which he had never even imagined, and it made all the hard work worth it. Simply put, she was a dream.

What was more, not only was Lashwi performing well but he was loving his work too. He craved perfection in the art of tear-gathering and, upon waking each day, was filled with the need to harvest more tears than he ever had before. In fact, he was so completely obsessed with his work, that he had even taken to doing a bit of inventing in the few hours of free time he had. He was currently working on a super-sob-sponge to increase the speed at which he gathered the wet weeps of the dear mortals. He reckoned it was the ultimate accessory when in the field and he was looking forward to trialling it during the next big catastrophe. Once proven, he was sure his colleagues would want one and he was also planning on selling one to the Chief himself.

For now, however, he was going to snuggle down beside his prize wife, into his silky cloud. The dryness of the heavens served only to increase his appetite for the mortal outpourings more, and he snuffled contentedly as he dozed off. He was confident that, thanks to a quiet word with his great friend, Niengi, God of Car Crashes, the new day was going be full of fresh challenges and unquestionably inundate him with a sizeable haul of the precious jewels he so adored collecting.